Why I Believe, Part 1: Coping with Overwhelm

I’ve decided today to share a part of my life with you. I often re-read my journals to see with clarity where I’ve been, where I am, and where God is leading me. In 1998, just days after my daughter left for college and Ed and I were celebrating our freedom, my mom got very sick. Within days, I went from carefree to care-giver.

At first, I tried to stay at her home and still run a business. By New Year’s, I knew I couldn’t do that any longer and she moved into our home. Living above the office made it possible–mostly–to care for her and serve our clients. For more than a year, we provided everything she needed, called 911 several times, dealt with numerous hospital visits, even hospice for several months.

[1/23/07 – I’ve found some loose pages of notes, and will transfer them into my computer.  Don’t know if they will eventually benefit someone else, but keeping my thoughts on daily experiences may help someone else to know that they are not alone and that God’s grace is the answer to everything….]

 February 7, 2000

Many Christians invite problems into their lives by speaking negatively about their situations and have allowed troubling circumstances to dictate how they live and what they believe … Instead, speak into existence your desired result … – Creflo Dollar

What is my desired result?  I don’t know … A part of me – my spirit – wants

  • Mother well
  • A better relationship with my siblings

But another part of me just wants …

  • Mother to go away – to not be my responsibility any more
  • To be left alone – my siblings disagree with everything I say or do or am; they seem too self-involved to even care about mom or us or to offer any assistance

I know I cannot confess (speak) what I am not willing to believe for – to have faith for – to trust God for.  Where do I go from here?  Help me, Lord. Daily my confession is I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am not weary in well-doing.  But just getting through each day while fighting depression and frustration is not Your best. 

Father, You meet me where I’m at.  Please give me wisdom, direction, faith and confession to step above this …

[1/23/07  – I remember the frustration of caring for mom – the draining of everything in me. Little did I know that in another six weeks or so she would be in a nursing home. I think the advantage of a diary or journal is being able to look back and see how things unfolded …]

Today as I read my thoughts of more than a decade ago, I know that God gave me the grace to place her needs above my own. I could not have done that without divine help. My spirit was too low, my body too exhausted, my emotions too overwhelmed.

I know, without doubt, that the times when my life has gone totally out of my control, when I can no longer cope with the tension and stress, that God’s grace is sufficient (2 Cor. 12:9). I have learned that when my own strength wanes, the Holy Spirit within me enables me to push on, to grow, to overcome.

That is God’s gift to us. He has promised us strength, victory, abundance and blessing. I have experienced His grace so many times in my life that I cannot comprehend life without faith. God is always waiting for us to ask for His help, His mercy and His grace.

If you are overwhelmed today, dealing with life issues that seem impossible, I encourage you to remember that God, our divine Parent, seeks to take care of you, strengthen you and give you the wisdom, patience and grace you need to persevere. Like any good parent, He wants only the best for you. Your part is to believe it, speak it and take action consistent with your faith. You, too, can overcome the overwhelm in your life. 

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